My Ancestors, the Puritans

I can see them now. As they step off the stinky, cramped ships... and see America for the very first time.  They must have thought to themselves, "Holy crap! Look at all this SPACE!!"  

As Americans, everything of ours needs to be bigger and better.  And you know what?  Good. I used to think the Mini Cooper was my favorite car.  But maybe I'll get a Hummer when I come home.  Don't get me wrong... There isn't any scenario in which I could actually afford a Hummer, and they really are just awful for the environment. But, hey. I could totally live in a Hummer. And a Hummer even takes you places.  If the trunk was a bathroom... done deal.  Hummers are way bigger than French apartments. So, vroom vroom.  I came to France a liberal hippy dippy, and I'm afraid I'll be returning home a hardcore, big fat obnoxious American.  Maybe I'll look into a bandana that is also an American flag.  I think that would fit my current state of mind.  And maybe a rifle.  Especially as the French seem to be under this impression that we're these violent gun-slinging gangsters.

My first day at my school I learned that one of the major components of the English curriculum (which is, by the way, taught in French. Really.) is "Guns and Violence." This is, of course, in reference to our fabulous country. I found it difficult to explain that not only do I not have a gun, but I don't really know anyone else who does either. 

Anyway, I'm missing home, AKA my gangster's paradise. Peace.